Friday, November 19, 2010
Friday, October 1, 2010
New Things
OMG. So much has happened since I last blogged.
First, and most importantly:
I am no longer a vegan. And I am no longer hungry every 5 minutes. My recent reunion with cheese was glorious to say the least. I indulged in a simple breakfast of birdman toast, a farm
fresh egg (thanks to my lovely farm friends) and freshly grated parm for the 1st meal back. It was like heaven in my mouth. But then again, after eating a month of peanut butter toast and soy sausage patties, anything is going to taste like heaven in my mouth.
I was eating a lot of blueberry, acai, spinach protein smoothies. Which is probably the only that I will continue to eat on a regular basis (acai, blueberries, spinach, coconut ice cream (vegan!), soy yogurt, soy milk and soy protein- try it, its delicious. Yes, I know there are way to many soy products in this and yes, there is a slight chance that you might turn into a women if you're a male, but thats a risk you're going to have to be willing to take....for a smoothie...).
Tomatoes were coming into their peak season, so I was slicing those up with some olive oil and basil and eating it on some french baguette. And while this is delicious and fresh, I couldn't help but think how much better it would be with a slice of Manchego...
So, thats basically what I ate for a month. Smoothies, peanut butter toast and tomatoes. Oh and spinach salads. Can't forget those....
I'm just so glad it's over.
And in term of enlightenment? Sadly, there was no "ah-ha!" moment I was hoping for, no light bulb glowing over my head, and no revelatory dreams. But I will say that I have gained some clarity within my life. A sense of ease, you could say. My daily life finally has some purpose (climate change/ public outreach coordinator for the MT Audubon. If this job isn't purposeful, I dont know what is....). And from that purpose, I have found comfort in knowing that I am contributing to society in a very positive way. Obviously, the clarity gained was not a direct outcome of being vegan. It just happened to coincide with the challenge. Or did it?....
So this Event: Its on 10/10/10 and its called the Global Work Party and you are going to be there. There are events all around Missoula to better our community, raise awareness about climate change, and show our leaders what we are concerned. Our message is this: "We're working the ground in Missoula to plants seeds here, our state capital and D.C." I helped come up with that slogan. Yeah, I know its pretty good. Check it out!
Also: I finally made apple butter. It's something that I've been wanting to do forever and ever. And since I have farm friends, I got to pick my own apples! It was/is delicious and SO easy to make! See below for instructions!
First, and most importantly:
I am no longer a vegan. And I am no longer hungry every 5 minutes. My recent reunion with cheese was glorious to say the least. I indulged in a simple breakfast of birdman toast, a farm
fresh egg (thanks to my lovely farm friends) and freshly grated parm for the 1st meal back. It was like heaven in my mouth. But then again, after eating a month of peanut butter toast and soy sausage patties, anything is going to taste like heaven in my mouth.
I was eating a lot of blueberry, acai, spinach protein smoothies. Which is probably the only that I will continue to eat on a regular basis (acai, blueberries, spinach, coconut ice cream (vegan!), soy yogurt, soy milk and soy protein- try it, its delicious. Yes, I know there are way to many soy products in this and yes, there is a slight chance that you might turn into a women if you're a male, but thats a risk you're going to have to be willing to take....for a smoothie...).
Tomatoes were coming into their peak season, so I was slicing those up with some olive oil and basil and eating it on some french baguette. And while this is delicious and fresh, I couldn't help but think how much better it would be with a slice of Manchego...
So, thats basically what I ate for a month. Smoothies, peanut butter toast and tomatoes. Oh and spinach salads. Can't forget those....
I'm just so glad it's over.
And in term of enlightenment? Sadly, there was no "ah-ha!" moment I was hoping for, no light bulb glowing over my head, and no revelatory dreams. But I will say that I have gained some clarity within my life. A sense of ease, you could say. My daily life finally has some purpose (climate change/ public outreach coordinator for the MT Audubon. If this job isn't purposeful, I dont know what is....). And from that purpose, I have found comfort in knowing that I am contributing to society in a very positive way. Obviously, the clarity gained was not a direct outcome of being vegan. It just happened to coincide with the challenge. Or did it?....
Also, my Mom is still a smoker.
Next piece of news:
I bought another bike. A cross bike. And I raced it. In a cross race. And I loved it! Well... during the race, I hated it. But when it was over, I had a ball. I'm going to doing it again tonight.
I cannot express to you the fear that is now welling up inside my chest at the though of it. I am scared of the pain that I will be enduring this evening, the anxiety that I will experience all day long at the prospect of eating crap on one of the barriers and knowing that I will grin and bear all of it only place last. But all of that doesn't matter after I cross the finish line. Because, that's when I realize (forgetting the pain and suffering completely) that I, in fact, had a good time. I imagine this feeling to be similar to child birth...
Next news piece:
I am planning an event for 350.org. It's quite the task. If there is one thing I have learned from it is this: Don't relay on college students to perform important tasks. Or any tasks for that matter. Yes, I realize that I was JUST a college student, but since I have received a diploma I feel that this gives me certain rights to smash on people who are still in school.... They are terrible at following through! They say they're "really pumped up" (direct quote) about helping out, but then don't pull through when they're needed. Come on you guys! Get it together! I know you have time and I know that you care, so please go hang up posters around town because I don't want to!
Next piece of news:
I bought another bike. A cross bike. And I raced it. In a cross race. And I loved it! Well... during the race, I hated it. But when it was over, I had a ball. I'm going to doing it again tonight.
I cannot express to you the fear that is now welling up inside my chest at the though of it. I am scared of the pain that I will be enduring this evening, the anxiety that I will experience all day long at the prospect of eating crap on one of the barriers and knowing that I will grin and bear all of it only place last. But all of that doesn't matter after I cross the finish line. Because, that's when I realize (forgetting the pain and suffering completely) that I, in fact, had a good time. I imagine this feeling to be similar to child birth...
Next news piece:
I am planning an event for 350.org. It's quite the task. If there is one thing I have learned from it is this: Don't relay on college students to perform important tasks. Or any tasks for that matter. Yes, I realize that I was JUST a college student, but since I have received a diploma I feel that this gives me certain rights to smash on people who are still in school.... They are terrible at following through! They say they're "really pumped up" (direct quote) about helping out, but then don't pull through when they're needed. Come on you guys! Get it together! I know you have time and I know that you care, so please go hang up posters around town because I don't want to!
So this Event: Its on 10/10/10 and its called the Global Work Party and you are going to be there. There are events all around Missoula to better our community, raise awareness about climate change, and show our leaders what we are concerned. Our message is this: "We're working the ground in Missoula to plants seeds here, our state capital and D.C." I helped come up with that slogan. Yeah, I know its pretty good. Check it out!
Also: I finally made apple butter. It's something that I've been wanting to do forever and ever. And since I have farm friends, I got to pick my own apples! It was/is delicious and SO easy to make! See below for instructions!
Apple butter:
5 lbs of apples cored, pealed and chopped
2 cups of sugar (I used 1.5 cups of agave nectar, but its super pricey and sugar will work just the same)
Cinnamon, a bit of allspice and some freshly grated nutmeg.
Put all of this in a crock pot. turn it on high, cover it, and leave it for 1 hour. Then turn it down to low and leave it for 9-12 hours. Then take the lid of and continue cooking for 1 more hour (or more. This step thickens it).
I left mine over night, and when I checked it in the morning it appeared to have burned on the bottom and the apples chunks held they shape. But then I stirred it and it turned into this creamy, dark brown, beautiful goo that tastes like autumn heaven. Try it!
Sunday, September 19, 2010
The In Between or T(X+Y)=Z or Terrible Analogies.
Its like the top of the parabola: When you toss up an apple and it hovers in mid air, waiting for gravity to act upon it.
It's when summer is over, but fall hasn't began yet. When the leaves are on the trees and there are still peaches at the market, but the brisk mornings and rainy afternoons have got you wondering when you'll see the first frost.
Its when you wade in Rattlesnake Creek on a warm afternoon. You walk in confidently and your feet don't register the water's icy temperature until you're too far across to make it out quickly. And by the time you get back to shore, your enjoying the feel of the cold water flowing against your ankles.
It's the few seconds silence between songs on your play list. Waiting patiently, to hear what comes next so you can decide if its worth listening to or not.
Waiting, patiently... or maybe anxiously, to know what your next step is. To know whether to give it time and love or to let it go and explore the other destinations. Unfortunately, life isn't like my "On-the-go 4" playlist and the time in between songs does not equate to The In Between in life.
I don't know if the time between summer and fall is going to be 4 seconds or 2 weeks. I don't know how far I will walk across the creek before my feet start to feel cold. I'm sure I can mathematically figure how long the apple hovers in mid air... but thats not where I'm going with this.
The problem with all of these analogies is this: We know the final result. We know the apple WILL come down, We know there WILL be a fall, my feet WILL be cold and a song WILL come on. Sticking with the mathematical theme here, The In Between in life doesn't give you an out come; it just gives you the variables and you have to wait for the equals sign. Like this: T(X+Y)=Z Where T= time, X= me Y= whatever event I'm experiencing and Z= Yes or No. Pursue it or Not.
I don't know if I've every told you this but I hate waiting for something to happen. I feel like I'm wasting time. I focus far too hard on the end result to be able to enjoy the time it takes to get there. My dad always says (I can hear him now) "its not about the destination, its about the journey." Yeah, I know Dad. I know.
I Just don't know how to enjoy the ride until I know where we're going. Is that bad?
It's when summer is over, but fall hasn't began yet. When the leaves are on the trees and there are still peaches at the market, but the brisk mornings and rainy afternoons have got you wondering when you'll see the first frost.
Its when you wade in Rattlesnake Creek on a warm afternoon. You walk in confidently and your feet don't register the water's icy temperature until you're too far across to make it out quickly. And by the time you get back to shore, your enjoying the feel of the cold water flowing against your ankles.
It's the few seconds silence between songs on your play list. Waiting patiently, to hear what comes next so you can decide if its worth listening to or not.
Waiting, patiently... or maybe anxiously, to know what your next step is. To know whether to give it time and love or to let it go and explore the other destinations. Unfortunately, life isn't like my "On-the-go 4" playlist and the time in between songs does not equate to The In Between in life.
I don't know if the time between summer and fall is going to be 4 seconds or 2 weeks. I don't know how far I will walk across the creek before my feet start to feel cold. I'm sure I can mathematically figure how long the apple hovers in mid air... but thats not where I'm going with this.
The problem with all of these analogies is this: We know the final result. We know the apple WILL come down, We know there WILL be a fall, my feet WILL be cold and a song WILL come on. Sticking with the mathematical theme here, The In Between in life doesn't give you an out come; it just gives you the variables and you have to wait for the equals sign. Like this: T(X+Y)=Z Where T= time, X= me Y= whatever event I'm experiencing and Z= Yes or No. Pursue it or Not.
I don't know if I've every told you this but I hate waiting for something to happen. I feel like I'm wasting time. I focus far too hard on the end result to be able to enjoy the time it takes to get there. My dad always says (I can hear him now) "its not about the destination, its about the journey." Yeah, I know Dad. I know.
I Just don't know how to enjoy the ride until I know where we're going. Is that bad?
Friday, September 3, 2010
This is what it's like...
I wake up in the morning. Usually around 8. The small amount of energy needed to walk up the stairs instantly depletes all forms of reserved energy, my tummy growls and I am instantly hit with hunger. I make coffee, toast a piece of Bird Man bread and spread as much almond butter that I can get on there. Eat it in 2 seconds.
The next 2-4 hours consist of me studying for the LSATs (yes, I think I might apply to law school...more on that later) and trying to decided what I should eat next. I usually am drinking a double americano w/ steamed soy at Hunter Bay (my new fav. spot) and eating all of the snacks I've packing in my bag which include: A peach, tamari almonds and dried pineapple. I eat a half veggie sandwich, go home, get on my bike and go on a ride. And because veggies and bread can only sustain you for so long, I eat about half a litter of hammer gel. Well, maybe not that much, but a lot more than I used to take... Get home, make and eat a acai protein smoothie and 20 minutes later 2 pieces of almond butter toast. At this point I'm so tired I can't let my self sit down or I will surely pass out. About an hour after the toast, I make a massive bowl of spinach salad with quinoa, tofu, garbanzo beans, and brewer's yeast dressing (if you haven't tried it you should). Then I spend the rest of the evening being wonderfully distracted and thoughts of cheese and eggs are flung far out of my mind and replaced by better things. Its blissful.
How much food is that? It must be like at least 5 pounds. Maybe more. Regardless, the point is this: This sucks.
I miss creamy goat cheese and figs. Salami and cheddar. Blue cheese and pears. Mmm. I miss milk in my coffee, milk in my cereal, cream cheese on my bagels.
I really think that this is comparable to quitting smoking. Seriously. In fact, I think it must be harder. Speaking of which, my mom couldn't make it past the 24 hours. She's smoked at least one a day since she "started" her challenge. Why she even has them in the house is a mystery to me. No, actually, I do know why she has them. Because they control her.
Ok, ok, I have a confession to make. I wasn't going to tell you, but I feel guilty. I ate cheese this weekend. I ate more french cheese that I've ever eaten before. It was so good, so creamy, so indulgently satisfying. But apparently my body didn't think so. I got so so so sick about 2 hours later.... So, I've learned my lesson. No cheating, the consequences are too terrible.
In regards to the job front: I'm employed! Kind of. I've got an internship with the Montana Audubon. AND, tomorrow I have a meeting with a law firm for another possible internship/ job. Things seem to be falling into place here in Missoula. And actually, even with all this baggage I'm carrying around (i.e. living with my parents, braces and jaw surgery looming on the horizon and a slight lack of community) I think I might be the happiest I've been in a very very long time. I can see, in the distance, a bright and beautiful future. I think....
The next 2-4 hours consist of me studying for the LSATs (yes, I think I might apply to law school...more on that later) and trying to decided what I should eat next. I usually am drinking a double americano w/ steamed soy at Hunter Bay (my new fav. spot) and eating all of the snacks I've packing in my bag which include: A peach, tamari almonds and dried pineapple. I eat a half veggie sandwich, go home, get on my bike and go on a ride. And because veggies and bread can only sustain you for so long, I eat about half a litter of hammer gel. Well, maybe not that much, but a lot more than I used to take... Get home, make and eat a acai protein smoothie and 20 minutes later 2 pieces of almond butter toast. At this point I'm so tired I can't let my self sit down or I will surely pass out. About an hour after the toast, I make a massive bowl of spinach salad with quinoa, tofu, garbanzo beans, and brewer's yeast dressing (if you haven't tried it you should). Then I spend the rest of the evening being wonderfully distracted and thoughts of cheese and eggs are flung far out of my mind and replaced by better things. Its blissful.
How much food is that? It must be like at least 5 pounds. Maybe more. Regardless, the point is this: This sucks.
I miss creamy goat cheese and figs. Salami and cheddar. Blue cheese and pears. Mmm. I miss milk in my coffee, milk in my cereal, cream cheese on my bagels.
I really think that this is comparable to quitting smoking. Seriously. In fact, I think it must be harder. Speaking of which, my mom couldn't make it past the 24 hours. She's smoked at least one a day since she "started" her challenge. Why she even has them in the house is a mystery to me. No, actually, I do know why she has them. Because they control her.
Ok, ok, I have a confession to make. I wasn't going to tell you, but I feel guilty. I ate cheese this weekend. I ate more french cheese that I've ever eaten before. It was so good, so creamy, so indulgently satisfying. But apparently my body didn't think so. I got so so so sick about 2 hours later.... So, I've learned my lesson. No cheating, the consequences are too terrible.
In regards to the job front: I'm employed! Kind of. I've got an internship with the Montana Audubon. AND, tomorrow I have a meeting with a law firm for another possible internship/ job. Things seem to be falling into place here in Missoula. And actually, even with all this baggage I'm carrying around (i.e. living with my parents, braces and jaw surgery looming on the horizon and a slight lack of community) I think I might be the happiest I've been in a very very long time. I can see, in the distance, a bright and beautiful future. I think....
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
I am so hungry.
As of 5 days ago, I am a vegan.
My mother, to many people's surprise, is a closet smoker and has been for the past 30 years. And now, I think she finally has recognized that, eventually, it will hurt her in a big way. So for the month of September, she is going to try to smoke ZERO cigarettes! This is SUCH a huge step for her and I am seriously looking forward to being apart of the struggle that she will endure! Yes, I recognize that cutting out animal and animal byproducts from my diet does not even compare to quitting an addiction. But if its any resolution, I think I am as close to addicted to cheese as mentally possible.
So. The stakes have increased: Not only am I doing this challenge for myself, but to support my mother in a huge battle! AND on top of that, Best Friend is helping me along the way and eating vegan for a month as well. AND we decided to start a week early. Why? I don't know. But I do know this: I could really go for a thick slice of cheddar right now.
So far, I have yet to reach any sort of state of clarity. I suppose I need to give it a bit more time.
I've spent the majority of the past 5 days eating because no matter how much quinoa and tempeh I swallow, I never get full. On the other hand, I do feel light and really, really healthy. I have to read labels on everything, which is a good habit to have, I guess... Although, I feel like a jerk when I have to ask what's in everything I order or when I have to say "will you make sure there isn't any meat or dairy in that sandwich?" Ugh. I don't want to be that person. But I am! ...shoot.
I've been really tired lately. I wonder if thats from my diet or from something else? I have been spending a lot time front porch sitting into the late nights which usually leaves me laying awake in my bed with a heart that beats twice as fast as normal and a spinning head. Not to mention a tummy that wants more food...
Yeah, yeah. I sound like Negative Nancy, but I WILL be sticking this out. I have a good feeling about where all of this is going and I think something will come of it.
But know this: at the end of september, I'm going eat as much cheese and salami that I can fit in my tummy.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Kristine: the enlightened one
You've also most likely have realized that I have the unrealistic desire to do everything that I possibly can. And those things usually change from day to day, at best.
I'm not sure if these characteristics are bad or if they're good. I guess they just are what they are. But I can tell you one thing: I need some organization.
I'm considering going to Law school. Yes, I know you're probably shaking your head and thinking, "This girl doesn't know what she wants". I know I don't know what I want!
Enter the challenge:
I have this uncanny urge to put myself through some sort of challenge. Maybe because applying and challenging my soul will allow me to look deeper into who I am and what I truly want? I'm not sure. I basically just want some clarity because right now, my heart is a little foggy. And I can't make any decisions with a foggy heart, right?
What is going to be the challenge you ask? Well, I'm not exactly sure, that's where you come in. I was think along the lines of food. As in eating vegan for a couple of months. Or maybe eating gluten free. Or maybe doing a raw diet. I like
the idea of challenging myself to having a healthier diet. I know that hat you put in your body affects not only how you feel physically but also mentally and emotionally.
I'm hoping that through this, the things in my head with click into place and I'll be able to find some answers. Maybe I'll become enlightened like the monks in Nepal who spend years in silence.... I understand that this is quite unrealistic, but I'm hoping for the best.
In other news: I harvested tomatoes this weekend! There really is nothing like home grown vine ripened tomatoes with basil, olive oil and garlic. Yum. Oh the small, sweet things in life! They remind me that life is full of beautiful simple things and that happiness is the delightful burst of heirloom cherry tomatoes in my mouth!
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