I am so hungry.

As of 5 days ago, I am a vegan.

My mother, to many people's surprise, is a closet smoker and has been for the past 30 years. And now, I think she finally has recognized that, eventually, it will hurt her in a big way. So for the month of September, she is going to try to smoke ZERO cigarettes! This is SUCH a huge step for her and I am seriously looking forward to being apart of the struggle that she will endure! Yes, I recognize that cutting out animal and animal byproducts from my diet does not even compare to quitting an addiction. But if its any resolution, I think I am as close to addicted to cheese as mentally possible.

So. The stakes have increased: Not only am I doing this challenge for myself, but to support my mother in a huge battle! AND on top of that, Best Friend is helping me along the way and eating vegan for a month as well. AND we decided to start a week early. Why? I don't know. But I do know this: I could really go for a thick slice of cheddar right now.

So far, I have yet to reach any sort of state of clarity. I suppose I need to give it a bit more time.

I've spent the majority of the past 5 days eating because no matter how much quinoa and tempeh I swallow, I never get full. On the other hand, I do feel light and really, really healthy. I have to read labels on everything, which is a good habit to have, I guess... Although, I feel like a jerk when I have to ask what's in everything I order or when I have to say "will you make sure there isn't any meat or dairy in that sandwich?" Ugh. I don't want to be that person. But I am! ...shoot.

I've been really tired lately. I wonder if thats from my diet or from something else? I have been spending a lot time front porch sitting into the late nights which usually leaves me laying awake in my bed with a heart that beats twice as fast as normal and a spinning head. Not to mention a tummy that wants more food...

Yeah, yeah. I sound like Negative Nancy, but I WILL be sticking this out. I have a good feeling about where all of this is going and I think something will come of it.

But know this: at the end of september, I'm going eat as much cheese and salami that I can fit in my tummy.

Kristine: the enlightened one

If you know me, or read my blog, you've probably come to the conclusion that I am a very sporadic person. With no real order to my thoughts and the ability to change gears in seconds. Sometimes I picture my brain to look like a very unorganized desk, with important documents strewn everywhere, scratch paper with important notes half hidden under a cup of cold coffee and a dictionary buried under it all (some of the pages missing). More often than I'd like, it takes me a few too many seconds to find the word I'm looking for or a few too many minutes to get to the point I'm trying to make.

You've also most likely have realized that I have the unrealistic desire to do everything that I possibly can. And those things usually change from day to day, at best.

I'm not sure if these characteristics are bad or if they're good. I guess they just are what they are. But I can tell you one thing: I need some organization.

I'm considering going to Law school. Yes, I know you're probably shaking your head and thinking, "This girl doesn't know what she wants". I know I don't know what I want!

Enter the challenge:

I have this uncanny urge to put myself through some sort of challenge. Maybe because applying and challenging my soul will allow me to look deeper into who I am and what I truly want? I'm not sure. I basically just want some clarity because right now, my heart is a little foggy. And I can't make any decisions with a foggy heart, right?

What is going to be the challenge you ask? Well, I'm not exactly sure, that's where you come in. I was think along the lines of food. As in eating vegan for a couple of months. Or maybe eating gluten free. Or maybe doing a raw diet. I like

the idea of challenging myself to having a healthier diet. I know that hat you put in your body affects not only how you feel physically but also mentally and emotionally.

I'm hoping that through this, the things in my head with click into place and I'll be able to find some answers. Maybe I'll become enlightened like the monks in Nepal who spend years in silence.... I understand that this is quite unrealistic, but I'm hoping for the best.

In other news: I harvested tomatoes this weekend! There really is nothing like home grown vine ripened tomatoes with basil, olive oil and garlic. Yum. Oh the small, sweet things in life! They remind me that life is full of beautiful simple things and that happiness is the delightful burst of heirloom cherry tomatoes in my mouth!

Best Wedding Cake Recipe Ever

This recipe is tried and true. This recipe has countless hours, eggs, and lemons behind it and is probably the best wedding cake (gluten free or otherwise) you have ever, or will ever taste. Yes, this is quite the tall statement, but I stand firmly behind it. You should probably feel very lucky that I am sharing this with you, reader, because I think I should maybe sell it to Martha Stewart, or something....

Next post: Vegetarian blog challenge, farm parties and law school?

Lemon Chiffon Cake

(makes 2 6X3 in cakes)

1 3/4 sugar

4 eggs

1 cup milk

1 tbsp vanilla

1 and 1/2 lemons worth of zest

1 cup extra light olive oil (love those omega 3s!)

2 3/4 cups GF flour mix (w/ xanthum gum), or regular flour

1 tbsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

Preheat: 350° Grease the shit out of the pans and line them with parchment and then grease the parchment (key step).

beat together eggs and sugar in your kitchen aid. Beat them for about a minute or two until it becomes a soft pretty yellow color. Meanwhile, whisk the milk, oil, vanilla and zest in a bowl. And the flour, baking powder and salt in another bowl. Then add the flour and milk mixture alternating between the two, starting and ending with the flour.

Bake until its done. I'm not going to give you a time because I don't even know.
You should probably put a lemony cream cheese frosting between the layers and a buttercream frosting on the outside.

Life of a probono wedding cake baker: 1 day after

Its over! and it was beautiful and delicious!

Decorated with dots: successful!

Vanagon ride to the wedding: successful!

Green and brown ribbon to match the bridesmaids: successful!

More pictures and recipes to come!

Life of a probono wedding cake baker: 2 Days Left

The cakes are baked, wrapped in plastic and waiting for their date with Mr. Frosting. Although there were some bumps in the road, I think that they're going to taste and look fine. And now that the stress of deflated cakes have past, I may have a dreamless sleep tonight. But probably not. I still have to frost and transport.

The past 4 days or so have consisted of dishes, oven checks, and a whole lot of sitting around and waiting. Inside. While the sun shines, beckoning me to play outside. It's frustrating, to say the least. Luckily, yesterday I got to take a break to ride my bike (which was ridiculously terrifying) and eat dinner with Miss Mel. Check out her blog. Her and her husband bought a Volkswagon van to live out of this summer while they prepare for their epic travel adventure around Asia. This week, they have it parked up Shultz Creek Road in Flagstaff which is absolutely beautiful. And after making tacos on the built in stove, washing dishes in the built in sink and sipping cold cider from ceramic mugs while swinging on their hammock, I was completely enchanted with the stage they have set to live their. They have adorned their van/home with pictures and art from friends, home made curtains and quilted blankets. They breath in the fresh mountain air every morning while sipping coffee among the pine trees. I am jealous of how beautiful they've made their life and I vow that at some point in my life, I will live in the forest with my husband, whoever that may be.

Life of a probono wedding cake baker: 4 Days Left

I decided to bake the carrot cake yesterday. This was probably a very good choice because I think I may have messed it up. The batter is so thick and full of fruit and nuts that it takes SO long to bake and even when it does seem to be done, its not.

I took it out of the oven too early, and while it looked perfect and delicious, when I went to cut the tops off to level the cake out, it was mushy and sticky. So yes. I messed up and think I may have to do this tier over again. But luckily, I have time.

I was thinking about how much I'm stressing out about this, and how much I love that. My life has been so easy, uneventful and stressless lately, that it feels so good to have something that I am responsible for. A task that I am in charge of and 100% accountable for, that I have to plan for, trouble shoot and execute. It's great. And even if it is just for a week, I have a purpose!

It makes me think about how much better it would be to work for yourself instead of somebody else. It also makes me think about getting a job. And how much I need something that I can contribute to! I know that I recently talked about how much I love being unemployed. And I do! But I feel like I need something to dedicate my time to. Just a little something. Because sitting around blogging and riding my bike all day isn't contributing to society. Which makes me feel like some sort of a dead beat. Which isn't anything new.

Life of a probono wedding cake baker: 5 Days left

Hi. It's Monday. Which means I have 4 and a half days before the cake has to be done. And although I did this last year, I think I forgot the actual steps in this process. The most pertinent step is when to start the cake. Should I start baking today? Will the cake taste old by the time the bride and groom cut into it? But if I start baking two days before (like what some cake baker's blog suggest) there won't be any room for error! Some say to freeze the cakes until they're ready to be frosted. But I don't feel good about that either. I know, I'm being overly-paranoid about this cake. And no, the night terror have not subsided, as of yet.

Yesterday I prepped the pans, cut wooden dowels and wrapped cardboard circles with tinfoil (used for support). I have 30 lb of gluten free flour ready to be baked and my kitchen aids (note the plural) are spotless and ready to support a 350 serving cake. The recipes are ready and delicious: Lemon chiffon as the bottom biggest tier (14 in) , vanilla bean with a fresh raspberry center (10 in), and carrot cake with a cream cheese filling (6 in) all with a french butter cream frosting. So, bottom line: I'm ready to bake! But when do I start?

Although I've been working hard on perfecting these recipes, the more blogs I read the more I want to really go all out and make a home make raspberry curd, increase the number of layers and try out new frostings. I recognize that it's not logical to do any of that. I think if I can just start this, I'll stop thinking about changing everything.

I felt that by writing about my cake concerns would help me to sort out any questions and arrive at some conclusions. But it hasn't. Now I just feel more paranoid and nervous and STILL don't know when to start the cakes. Shoot.

Life of a probono wedding cake baker: 8 days and a minor concussion

It sounds like I'm counting down for my wedding. But I'm not. It's for the cake and the small tasks that need to be done before the wedding. Like sewing table runners...

Today's tasks are: 1) buying ingredients 2) wrapping gifts for the bachelorette party and 3) finding a date for the wedding. If you know of anybody OR you want to be my date, send in an application.

I'd like to report that the cake disaster night terrors subsided last night, only to be replaced by dreams of me dying in my sleep. Let me explain:

I'd like to precede this story with this: The trails here are a lot more technical than the ones I've been riding in Missoula.

I went on an awesome group ride yesterday. We were climbing for about 2 hours and my lungs haven't fully acclimated to the altitude so I was pretty tired when we reached the downhill. I couldn't believe the things I was dropping. It was awesome. I felt awesome. Then, out of nowhere, I hit a boulder. Square on. And then flew in to another boulder. Luckily, my helmet protected me from crushing my skull, but while I was lying there after hitting that huge rock the only thing running through my head was "I'm paralyzed, I know it, I'M PARALYZED!" Thankfully my EMT friend was riding behind me and used his skills to ensure me I wasn't paralyzed. Nothing serious, just a minor concussion, deeply cut palm, slightly sprained wrist and blood. I got back on my bike and finished the ride (really slowly). My nurse and EMT friends had a friend stay over last night to wake me up every 2 hours. Just in case I would die in my sleep. So, of course, thats what occupied my dreams last night.

Over all, I feel like a bad ass.

The life of a pro bono wedding cake baker

As some of you may already know, I'm baking my friends gluten free wedding cake next weekend. And while this may seem like quite the daunting task, it's really not. I've done it once before and its surpassingly easy. A lot of work and time in the kitchen, but over all, not very challenging (besides transportation). And since I will be spending hours and hours on end in the muggy floury haze of my small kitchen, I am going to devote the next week's worth of blogs to the production of this cake and the thoughts that arise in the process.

So far the extent of the cake baking has been the constant nightmares in which I either forget to bake the cake or it dramatically falls over in front of the bride and groom. I would actually categorize them as night terrors rather than mares because I wake up in a cold sweat and have the uncontrollable urge to get up and start baking the cake. I imagine that only until the cake is finished and sitting on it's table at the wedding, will these terrors stop. The actual baking will start on Sunday, I expect them to worsen as the week progresses.

I left Missoula last week and I have never missed it more than I do right now. Which isn't normal. I am literally counting down the days until I am back home (11).

The storm that chased our dinner inside. Even when its rainy, Missoula is the most beautiful place in the world!