"Jesus was not a Gibbon": An Experience.

What I saw this week, the feelings I felt and the things I experienced are the type of which I can not even express to you. This is my third attempt at trying to explain:

First let me give you a bit of back ground. Its a project started by some French guy to attempt to protect a section of Laos' old growth jungle. Since we all know that slash and burn practices are not the best things for the forest ecosystems, the French guy has introduced ecotourism to the local villages surrounding a forest reserve.

The ride from the boarder of Laos to the "base camp" was extraordinary if not a bit... or really really...painful. My less the good judgement got me a seat in the bed of a truck. I willingly volunteered to sit, for 3 hours up a dirt "road" with pot holes so big and deep I swear if all the muddy water were to be sucked out of them, you could stare straight down into a dark abyss and see straight through the earth to the USA. In some areas the road was like a large orange mud slide and the trucks would slide SIDEWAYS down. Thankfully my death grip won me my life. But, I would have sat in that jostling truck bed for 8 more hours for what was up a head.

We passed small villages who's houses were made out of grass and palm leaves, where children were running around naked and women were walking around topless. We passed green rice patties shimmering in the wind. Then, a steep 2 hour trek up got us deep into the jungle to base camp, where we then zip lined to our tree house. (pause) Yes, I said tree house. And yes, it is everything you are imaging, but more. Complete with a bathroom with running water, shower and sink, three bed rooms and a kitchen lounge area. With hammocks. In a fig tree. On the very top of the canopy.

Looking out, all you see is deep, deep green. A green so alive you can feel it. I can not describe what I felt looking over that blanket of trees and vines, but I can tell you I've only felt it 2 other times in my life, one of those times was at white haven beach in Australia.

The sound was an experience in it's self. The constant clicking and singing and screeching of the insects was so blaringly loud. My ears are still ringing. And then there was gibbon's song, which reverberated above all, across the hills and valleys right around to our tree house.

I'm going to stop there because I am afraid if I go on, my poor language and writing will taint the picture forming in your head. So instead, I'll just let your brain finish what I've started.

But I will say this: Those few days showed me so many new elements to life. So many important and beautiful images that the world only offers a few lucky people. And only a few of those lucky people really grasp the grandeur. Ex: What it truly means to live in poverty in a small village. Why we need to keep the rainforest's around. How truly thankful we should be for paved roads. (Questions I will address in the next blog).

Now I can check off one of my life long goals: Live in a tree house- check.

Life update:

I can now successfully pee in a squat toilet. Thank you.
I've been attacked by bed bugs 4 nights in a row... Gaa-ross.

My digestive system is doing great.

Going to the islands day after tomorrow (I cant wait!).

sawasde ka, I am a Farang.

Let me tell you a little something about Bangkok: If Bangkok was to be the only place you visit in Thailand, then you most likely would never want to come back. Even though the markets are great and the food is like heaven in your mouth, all of that is fogged over by the thick gray pollution that is easily visible throug your blood shot itchy eyes (the result of such poor air quality).



5 am: I look over the mass of silver tin roof tops. Vendors are starting to set up and hunker down for another 20 hours of Farang bartering). The sun rises like a red ball and the smog is masking beauty of it's morning rise. The dim reddish light seems to cast a eerie glow on all things. I take a big breath in and almost choke.


8 am: Walking down the surprisingly clean streets to find a fruit vendor is a lot harder than expected. Weaving in and out of half drunk tourist all the while dodging pushy taxi and tuk- tuk drives who are belting, "where you going? I drive you in tuk-tuk". Finally we find fruit and once that mango hits my mouth, everything get surprisingly better.



Rest of the day: We met up with my friend Amber who is studying abroad in Bangkok for the semester (kudos Amber, I wouldn't ever be able to do it...). Went to a night market, bartered for a beautiful tapestry, got it for 1000 baht (probably ridiculously over priced), and had more mango. My mood increased 10 fold.



We got into Chaing Mai yesterday. Its like the complete 180 from Bangkok. Imagine an Asian Flagstaff. Yeah, its that great.

There are markets and temples and monks everywhere. The jungle seems to be encroaching on the town, as opposed to the city flattening the jungle. Its a beautiful sight.

Today I went to a Thai cooking school. Now, pad thai, tom yum, mussuman curry and spring rolls are not a mystery to me. I can't wait to make it for you guys.

We are planning on going to Laos day after tomorrow to do a trek. Check out the web site. It seems pretty all around awesome: http://www.gibbonx.org/



Let me recap and make a few things clear, just in case:

1. Bangkok sucks

2. Chaing Mai rocks

3. I will not stop eating. < note the period

4. I could live here.

5. I think i'm getting a cold...(not mentioned above)



big love.

New plans

Ok, I am sitting here trying to grasp the fact, the very important fact, that I'm leaving for a big trip in 2 days time. And, yet again, I can't seem to fully comprehend it. It might be that my conscious mind is keeping me from this exigent and stress provoking situation because it seems as though only in the late hours of the night,when I feel like I could lay in those blue and tan sheets forever, when I'm so cozy and happy and relaxed, it hits me. It hits me and I know from Saturday morning on, the closest thing that I will have to home for then next 4 months will be my sleeping bag. The sleeping bag part, I am totally excited about (thailand, hawaii, back to thailand, delhi, nepal, philippines, hong kong...sweet!). Its the getting back that I'm scared about. And while thinking about it now would be (and is) pointless and useless, it doesn't take away from knowing that there are going to be big, important life decisions to make when I return.

Trip details:
Oct3- Nov1: Thailand
Nov 2-5: Flagstaff
Nov5-22: Hawaii
Nov 23-27: Bangkok
Nov 27-Dec 1: Delhi
Dec 1- Dec 19: Nepal
Dec 20-Jan 6: Philippines
Jan 6-9: Hong Kong
Jan 9: back to the USA.

Thats such a HUGE trip! Lord, please let my saving last me through January...

so this is life.

This is what it feel like to be free from it all. Free from homework, free from a job, free from... responsibility....?

It took me a good 4 months to be ok with this. And by this mean not having a job or school or some form of activity that makes me feel productive. While you may be thinking to yourself that my situation would be incredibly pleasant and very exciting (not to mention extremely lucky) you may not be thinking about what comes along with it...

The first and most important and heart aching is that the relationships in my life are ending more than they are beginning. And I am hanging on to each of them by the hair string. Some of them I know are going to last, some of them won't and a few of them I am unsure about. The friendships that have engendered around me have grown deep in my heart and its hard to give that away. It is so hard. It seems to be harder than I expected. It seem so be pulling my heart apart in 2 different directions. I want to choose which way to go, which direction to send my heart, but I feels as though I don't have the knowledge or ability to make that decision what ever that decision is.
Secondly, I am going against my brain's better judgment. The most inappropriate choice as far as my career is going, is to do what I am doing: letting all of my erudite and pedant self be lost in a sea of travel. Until recently, I thought the worst part of this was in between trips, when I have nothing to do but sleep in and have fun exploring Flagstaff or Montana. While everybody is being responsible at work or school, I wake up too late, drink too much coffee and don't do anything mentally productive during the day. (note the past tense)
Thirdly, I know my parents are almost dying of worry. Worried that their daughter isn't making the right choices. Worried that I'll get kidnapped while in Cambodia. Worried (and I have strong reason to believe this is their biggest worry) that I will get married and pregnant and not become the women they see me becoming. I'm not going to even start on that....

Don't think that I am not truly grateful for what I have and what I am able to do in this next year. Because I am. Now. It took a bit to figure out how awesome this life I'm living is. And how fast this period in my life is going to be over. I have been loving every single second of it as of late. I have stopped feeling guilty about my lack of productivity by occasionally studying for the GREs. I've decided to base myself in Flagstaff to keep my friendships and community as closely tied to me as possible. And I've learned that there is nothing I can do or say to placate my parent's wild thoughts.

This is my life.
It is so great right now!

Love in life. Truth in love.

What is it supposed to look like? It's got so many faces and so many ways.

Mel's and Kris's wedding was such an incredible event. I am so honored to have been able to play a part in it. Watching both of those beautiful, big hearted and gentle people grow together and fall in love was (and is) a story that has taught me so much.
I've learned how beautiful love is, how incredibly powerful and real it is. I learned that being in love means "laying your life down for one another", being an forgiver, and encourager and a enabler. It truly means being one in each other and one in the world.
Today I realized how lucky they are to have found each other this early in their lives. While she may only be 22, she has found somebody who's presences lights up her life and really does complete her (don't mind the cliche). He fights for her, is patient with her and would literally do everything for her. He swept her off her feet. And the catch here is this: she does the same. Together they enchant their friends, family and each other. They radiate happiness and truth. She shows him a new side of life everyday, and him to her. I love that.

I know that love and marriage looks different to and for everybody but its hard not to compare.

Leaving Barcelona

This is the first time I've been sad to leave a place during my travels. Barcelona has been so good to me. Its hard to say good bye to such a wonderful city with beautiful people and such an interesting vibe.
I'm in such a funk at the moment. I did think that I would be sad to be done with this trip and to be leaving Europe, but I definitely am.
I have a confession to make.... During my stay in Copenhagen I was an inch away from shortening my trip. The mental struggle that I was going through was so intense. Yeah, I know it was only 1 week. But in that one week I went through some heavy emotional growth and at times I wanted to give up and come home. I didn't think I could do that for 4 weeks. AND it didn't help that my parents were trying their best to persuade me to return early.

But I pushed through! And looking back at it all now, it seems as though I was being a little to dramatic. Or maybe not. Maybe this trip has toughened my skin. Maybe I got used to traveling and got better at making friends along the way. Jackie totally helped. She was like the churros in my chocolate caliente: Chocolate (say it like your speaking Spanish) is very thick and strong by it's self, hard to put it down, but delicious nonetheless. But dipping the churros in the chocolate is like a heaven send (and one of the greatest foods of Spanish cuisine). The churros cut the intense chocolate flavor. They allow you to enjoy every single moment you spend eating this Spanish treat, they allow you to fully appreciate the chocolate and give you the ability or the encouragement to drink it alone.

So, I'm so sad to go. I feel like I just started getting the hang of traveling alone. I just figured out how I like to spend my days and evenings in different places. I just made some wonderful friends and I probably won't ever see them again. I guess that might be the beauty of traveling at my age. The relationships that are formed are put on warp speed because of the time restriction you have. So the friends you make feel like you've had them for years, instead of just hours.
But I am tired. I don't think that I want to stay longer. I think I am just sad its over and sad that I'm leaving such a wonderful place.
I'll be back here again.

Barcelona

I've only been here for a few hours but I have already fallen in love with Barcelona.

Jackie and I parted ways this morning in Prague. It was incredibly hard to see her go, not only because I didn't know when I was going to see her again but also because I knew that traveling solo will commence again. So the flight was a bit somber, but as soon as I got to my hostel (complete with free wifi AND bean bag chairs... hells yeah) I perked up immediately. I walked over to the bottom of Las Ramblas and saw the Columbus monument (I swear, every city in Western Europe claims to be the home of Columbus or has his bones... ). The monument is the start of Las Ramblas which is the main strip in town that connects everywhere to everywhere. Its lined with palm trees and when the warm breeze sweeps by its hard to think of a place I'd rather be.


I ate at a very small tapas bar off the main strip and it just may be one of the best places I've EVER . Let me try to set the scene: The entire area in front of the bar is only about 2 people wide but was very long. The counters are laden with plates of different kinds of "pinchos" held together with a toothpick. The bartender gives you a plate and asks what color of wine you want. You eat standing up, grabbing what ever looks good. Occasionally a small woman walks by with a plate of pinchos hot from the oven. When you're done, they count the number of toothpicks left on your plate and charge you by that. I chatted with a man from France. It was nice.

I'm so thankful for hostels. Its like being a freshmen in the dorms again. Everybody wants to make friends and know what your story is. Its a lot less lonely than a B and B. Tomorrow- Barri Gotic and the market.