This is what it's like...

I wake up in the morning. Usually around 8. The small amount of energy needed to walk up the stairs instantly depletes all forms of reserved energy, my tummy growls and I am instantly hit with hunger. I make coffee, toast a piece of Bird Man bread and spread as much almond butter that I can get on there. Eat it in 2 seconds.

The next 2-4 hours consist of me studying for the LSATs (yes, I think I might apply to law school...more on that later) and trying to decided what I should eat next. I usually am drinking a double americano w/ steamed soy at Hunter Bay (my new fav. spot) and eating all of the snacks I've packing in my bag which include: A peach, tamari almonds and dried pineapple. I eat a half veggie sandwich, go home, get on my bike and go on a ride. And because veggies and bread can only sustain you for so long, I eat about half a litter of hammer gel. Well, maybe not that much, but a lot more than I used to take... Get home, make and eat a acai protein smoothie and 20 minutes later 2 pieces of almond butter toast. At this point I'm so tired I can't let my self sit down or I will surely pass out. About an hour after the toast, I make a massive bowl of spinach salad with quinoa, tofu, garbanzo beans, and brewer's yeast dressing (if you haven't tried it you should). Then I spend the rest of the evening being wonderfully distracted and thoughts of cheese and eggs are flung far out of my mind and replaced by better things. Its blissful.

How much food is that? It must be like at least 5 pounds. Maybe more. Regardless, the point is this: This sucks.

I miss creamy goat cheese and figs. Salami and cheddar. Blue cheese and pears. Mmm. I miss milk in my coffee, milk in my cereal, cream cheese on my bagels.

I really think that this is comparable to quitting smoking. Seriously. In fact, I think it must be harder. Speaking of which, my mom couldn't make it past the 24 hours. She's smoked at least one a day since she "started" her challenge. Why she even has them in the house is a mystery to me. No, actually, I do know why she has them. Because they control her.


Ok, ok, I have a confession to make. I wasn't going to tell you, but I feel guilty. I ate cheese this weekend. I ate more french cheese that I've ever eaten before. It was so good, so creamy, so indulgently satisfying. But apparently my body didn't think so. I got so so so sick about 2 hours later.... So, I've learned my lesson. No cheating, the consequences are too terrible.

In regards to the job front: I'm employed! Kind of. I've got an internship with the Montana Audubon. AND, tomorrow I have a meeting with a law firm for another possible internship/ job. Things seem to be falling into place here in Missoula. And actually, even with all this baggage I'm carrying around (i.e. living with my parents, braces and jaw surgery looming on the horizon and a slight lack of community) I think I might be the happiest I've been in a very very long time. I can see, in the distance, a bright and beautiful future. I think....